From My Point of View

Jon sat next to me in the booth at Sweetwater and said, "Let's stop talking about it and let's do it."  Jon told the kids, while I listened.  Jon prayed for our family at the table that night at Sweetwater.  Jon designed this blog.  He wrote the first several entries.  He asked a bunch of really good questions at our interview with AWAA.  He is excited.

I am astounded!  I am astounded because our conversation about adoption several months ago was fairly one-sided.  Jon wasn't there.  He hadn't heard the call.  I asked him to continue to pray about it and think about it.  I wouldn't bug him about it, but I would ask occasionally.  In the meantime, I prayed.  I asked God for clear direction, discernment, and patience.  I was at peace with the understanding that I wouldn't be called to adoption if my husband weren't also.  I knew it would difficult for me to let it go if Jon's answer was ultimately "no", but I also knew there were plenty of opportunities for our family to be engaged in the lives of orphans.  So, I waited, not on Jon, but on God.  As time went on, Jon began to listen more to my stories of the people I was reading about on blogs and in books....amazing stories of love and hope for orphans.  He began to ask more questions about what I was reading and thinking.  Without sharing about my specific calling to adoption, he was willing to ask other people to pray for us...for clarity.

And then, the week or two before our decision, he requested an info packet from an agency, which was huge.  Every night when he got home from work, he asked if the info had arrived.  It arrived on Thursday.  We spent the evening digesting the information and researching options.
That Friday afternoon, I was reading my book, "There Is No Me Without You," which is about adoption.  I felt a strong pull to call Jon at work and say, "Let's just do it.  Enough talking."  Somehow I knew it had happened.  He'd felt the calling, but just hadn't told me yet.  I held off from calling him because I had promised myself I wouldn't push the issue...that if God moved him to commit to the call to adopt, he would be bold in his answer to the call.  I didn't need to push the answer.  I could wait.

And then, that night, at dinner, a heaviness of thought hung between us through dinner, as it had the previous several weeks.  I wondered what he was thinking, but didn't want to push him.  He knew what I was thinking, I'm sure :)

Then, he committed and I was astounded!  I was grateful.  I felt at peace.  I felt like throwing up.  Months of prayer and thought and conversation had ended in one way and REALLY begun in another.  I felt like we were jumping off a cliff, unsure of exactly where we'd land, but pretty sure that no matter what, we'd be holding hands all the way to our landing spot...with each other, with our kids, and most importantly, with God.